Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Yesterday I dreamt about my deceased uncle. There was supposedly a wedding and I was dressed incorrectly in black. I went to my room to change and there he was, sitting in a corner, shining my bedside light at me.

They say that dreaming about a wedding symbolises a death of some sort. And there was. Somewhere around midday my grandmother phones to ask my mother to take her to a funeral. A distant relative of mine had passed away, one that I had never met and, since I avoid funerals, one that I will never see.

The day before yesterday, my mother was telling me about a pedestrian who was killed by a taxi that swerved onto the pavement. That pedestrian was an old Indian lady... that old Indian lady was my distant relative.

Today's inspiration: the randomness of life.

In my current unemployed position, I often think about where I would be if I had done things differently. For example, what if I had gone to an advertising school instead of university? I may have a job now. But then I think about all my friends; the people that I would never had met; the things that I would never have done or seen; and the experiences that I would never experience. I would be different person...

I have two regrets in my life, and both involve the death of people that I have loved. Other than that, every idiotic thing that I have done has led me through specific alleys and avenues that have made me who I am today. As much as I am not perfect, I love who I am... well, on most days... Even the people who have made swift appearances in my life have played a role in getting me where I am today. Whether they screwed me over, whether they drifted away, whether they stayed and helped me out or whether they didn't... I am a product of every tiny moment that has occured in the last 23 years.

Life is random. We often focus on the negative things that happen to us and waste time wishing that we could go back in time and change it all instead of seeing the positive change, the things that we had learnt from the experience that the ways that that new knowledge could help us in the future.

Life makes us who we are, and life should inspire us to be the fullest possible selves that we can be. Even when times are tough and we have little hope that things will get better... Who knows, someone may randomly appear to lend a hand and pull you out... or somewhere you may see a light...

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