Tuesday, June 8, 2010

An Artist's Insecurity

Initially, when I decided that I would do the Film Festival movie challenge, I thought that it would be easy and only take up a small amount of time. I wrote the script in a couple of hours, emailed it to the team and thought that everything will work out now that there was a script.

However, the team fell apart. Everybody became busy and no one really dedicated themselves to helping out even though they all were keen to do so. Eventually, a group was pulled together at the last moment - a group of three people: an actor, a musician and a writer.

Throughout the weekend, while shooting, I noticed that each one of us had our insecurities. I was insecure about the script, and still actually find it lame. The musician was insecure about his acting talent and the actor was insecure about her voice and the way she made coffee. Each of these insecurities were mildly visible, but they existed, despite the airs of confidence we all put on.

Artists are always insecure about their art. Maybe because all art contains a form of the artist, a piece of who they really are. Maybe because all artists are perfectionists who are never satisfied with their art and always trying to be better. Maybe because artists never know what they are up against or the quality of those that they are in competition with; they never know how to measure their art because art is something purely subjective.

It was amazing working with the two of them. We all perceived things differently. In a conversation of favourite movies, I noticed that each of us based our opinion of a movie on our desired careers. The musician spoke about the movie's soundtrack; the actor spoke about the acting talent and I spoke about the cinematography. In a discussion about 'Slumdog Millionaire', not one of us liked the movie because it was just a great movie but because of the elements within it that attracted our attention. The actor pointed out the brilliant performances of the two small boys who were easily liked by audiences because they were so cute and the musician went on about how MIA's song ruined the whole movie for him.

There's so much to think about when making a movie or creating any other form of art because there's so many ways in which art can be analysed. The very essence of art is within the eyes of the audience; and being unable to control the response to your artwork makes one insecure.The only time an artist is never insecure is when they have nothing to lose...

At the moment, I am killing myself slowly trying to edit the 8 minute filmed script into a 5 minute movie. I now realise that it is harder to create a short movie that has a limited time frame than a long movie with no time restraints. How to I get the story across? What can possibly be left out? The persistence of these questions merely highlight my own insecurity.

1 comment:

Nii said...

:) Some of the best artsits the world has ever known were apparently slightly insecure about thier work. Iguess seeking some sort of validation for one's work is as human as we get